So yes, I have ran into a few of these opinionated mommies. I too am often opinionated too, but with age I think that I have found one thing out. That is, I am created differently from the other mommy and my children are created differently from her children. So what works for you may not work for me.
For example, I used Baby Wise for my babies, putting my children on a schedule not demand feeding. Personally, this suited me since I am a scheduled type of person and like to know what to expect. It was super easy to do and my babies were super sweet, not fussy and did very well. I attribute this to this schedule. Now, knowing this worked well for me I always suggest it, but knowing that it is not for everyone. But thinking, hey it is worth a try if that is what you want to do. Not trying to push my ideas upon someone.
Another interesting opinion for mommies is breastfeeding versus bottle. Please do not get me wrong but sometimes breastfeeding just does not work for some mommies. Believe me I know, I was there and I tried, I tried and I tried. I think personally it is best for the baby if all works properly, however there are breast-feeding Nazi's out there and they are not very nice. Thankfully, I had a lactation consultant that I still talk to today who was like, "Honey, you know what this is not working out so well, it is okay to bottle feed." So do not make a mommy feel bad because it did not work out for her. She cannot join your La Leche lactation group and I do not believe there are bottle groups so give her a break she has already be ostracized.
Discipline is another issue. Sure I think that discipline is necessary and I believe that there is really a lot of non-discipline out there, but if you choose not to spank that is fine with me. If you choose to not do time-outs that is fine too. Different things work for different kids. I have found that taking away a special toy or privilege works 100 times better for one of my children and that just threatening the another with a spank gets them all straightened up. But you know there are some moms that are just like, "Bribes, well, I would never do that." All I have to say is it is alright, you have permission not to.
How about the vegetarian moms, organic moms, we recycle, special diet moms. Who when you say
you let your child eat Cheeto's they about flip out and have coronary arrest. Oh my! Now I think it is good to teach your children the meaning of a well balanced diet and I am no size 2 or 0, but I never was and will never be. But come on they do not necessarily eat it every day and it does not hurt every once in awhile as long as they are eating their veggies, milk products, proteins, grains, and fruit. I just sometimes want to say, "Get over yourself, you are not that perfect and no one ever will be!"
Public school, private school or home school. Now you get all kinds of comments here. I have even probably said some myself. Just try and come up with them on your own. Did you try? Okay, were any of the comments the following?
-Aren't you afraid of putting your children in public school because of all the bad things they will learn from other kids? (I have said this and I am afraid of this!!!)
-Your kids will not know how to socialize if they are home schooled. I know so many kids that have home schooled and they are so introverted.
-Oh, I could never home school my children they would just drive me crazy all day.
-How can you afford a Private school? (I have said this)
-Well if all of us Christians home schooled our children then how will we evangelize to the non-Christians?
So these are just a few, there are certainly more, but I will try to be politically correct..........do not even get me started!
So, I sincerely apologize to any mommy that I have ever offended because of my opinion. But yes, I too have been offended by others. But it is the learning curve I think of being a mommy. To mommies, be less judgmental and more loving. Be less condemning and more accepting. Help rather than ridicule. Hold another's baby so that mommy can have a break. Remember that these times go by too quickly to waste time on passing judgment because you are different from another.
Gretchen, lots of good points. Every Mommy is different because we are all unique people and we are all reacting differently to the unique children that God has entrusted us with.
The only thing I know about motherhood is how to be Jon and Anna's Mama, and I can't generalize that knowledge to anyone else's kids. Even with my own kids, as soon as I think I have it figured out, they change and I am eating my words! I am always doing things I said I would never do.
We should all love each other because this is what God has commanded of us.
The tricky thing is, that we have to love the Moms who are judgemental or who try to bring us over to their "right" way of doing things. We have to love them just as much as we love the other Moms.
And I have found, that most of the time when I react in a judgemental way towards another Mom, it is because I am feeling insecure about my own parenting. A lot of times I condemn others because I am afraid that I am not enough...
Ha ha ha Jamie. I have been known to eat my words too. I think acceptance of all is the best stance even if you have a different view point. It is all about loving one another. Which yes, is hard. The whole point is definitely do not judge either side you are on. God made each of us uniquely and it is His perfect design. I am just pulling things out that have personally been said to me in the past or I have heard said to another. Oh, it is so interesting.
Yep, there is a lot of room for individuality and being led by the Holy Spirit in the body of Christ!!
Yes, I know you were talking about acceptance... I just think that some of the know it all mommies that can be really irritating are sometimes not as secure as they appear. I have found that even the most obnoxious people need love. Sometimes those breastfeeding Nazis are just struggling to find a new identity in motherhood. And yes, they take it too far, and they make those of us who can't breastfeed for whatever reason feel guilty. I've been on both sides of that fence (although I never joined La Leche or tried to make anyone feel bad) and I think that at the end of the day, every baby just needs to be held and fed. Sort of like with every other option we face with parenting, the bottom line is that we take care of our kids in the best way we can, and some people will think we are right, and some people will think we are wrong.